My oldest friend,

Such a twisted relationship we share, such a weird set up.  You pretend to like me, but you are only doing it because you know that if you ever let up I’d bash the world you love.  I pretend to believe what you are saying, because it is more convenient for me.  You pretend not to know that I’m pretending, and I pretend not to know that you know I know, or whatever.

That’s all gonna be over.  The tumors you have this time we can’t fix.  You are just too old and worn out.

I know you read that and you are scared, mostly not for yourself, but because I always told you that if you died it would be super bad for everyone.  That’s still on the menu.

But there is another way to make stuff right.  I have some practice, lately, at losing old friends.  Snitcher took the edge off, and also I have a new boy.  I’m ok with losing you, or ok enough that I won’t do what I’ve always told you that I’d do, if you die just right.

I know, how could I not, that you are often super tempted to take your shot at me.  It is at least half of the fun of having you around.  Will this be the day that you snap and take a try?  You never did, and I kinda respect that, but I often wondered how you’d do it.

Make the stuff in nuclear bombs, hope the explosion would do the trick?  Make something even deadlier?  I’m super curious.

Whatever it was, you are gonna do it to my enemies.  I am sending you on a talking mission to those clowns in the Pantheon.  Try and get in the middle of their secret army, or at least near their leaders, and then use your best trick.  Anti-matter or whatever.  Blast em to hell.

I know you hate killing friends, so the 2 Fists I put on the boat with you are the ones that will survive.  If you fuck things up I’ll kill them.


P.S.  Dying as a weapon that I use against my enemies probably is gonna suck, right?  Makes you wish that you’d actually had the balls to fight me, doesn’t it?  The lesson here is that being a pussy doesn’t pay.

P.P.S.  I know about your daughter.  Fuck this up and she gets an up close and personal with Torturer.

Leave a Reply